Deal with It

By Holly - 10/06/2010 10:28:00 AM

The title of this post is one of our favorite lines for the TV show," Better Off Ted."

Lately, I'm not doing very well with this concept. Which can be attributed to the quietness of the blog.

See, the last time I moved more than 25 feet, was March 2007. I drove from Oklahoma to California, with a few stops in between. I was moving to marry the love of my life. Everything I owned fit into my 2-door Honda Civic.

I had my ipod chalk full of new music and a map and I was good to go. I left at around 5 am, there was beautiful orange sunrise. The tears I cried were when I passed the last Taco Bueno just before crossing into Kansas. And then more tears when I got stuck in a snow storm and had to drive through New Mexico.  But I was happy to go it was a new beginning I had been waiting for my whole life.

This time is different. Although I complain about California and it's weather a lot, it's still been my home for the past 3.5 years. I have friends here, we're established here, we have family here.

Right now, we are still uncertain what state we're even moving too. I'm a constantly changing mixture of fear and sadness and anticipation. Sad to leave this place (although not my favorite geographically speaking) , my friends, family and security behind.

I'm anxious to find out where we're going, where we'll be living, what we'll be doing. Trying to hammer out some sort of schedule or routine, so we all don't loose our minds. Finding enough time to spend with friends and family before we go.

I'm scared we're doing the right thing, scared that Zoe will adapt well, scared that everything will work out exactly the way I want it to. Which I already know it won't. God doesn't work that way :)

And then this morning I read Stephanie Howell's blog, a favorite of mine.
she wrote, " ...where God nudges you on the shoulder and says "you are not in charge". "I have bigger plans for you".

And just like that, an answer to a prayer. A gentle reminder in an unsuspecting place, that my Heavenly Father is well aware of me and my family.

It's now my goal to deal with it a little more gracefully than I have in days past and have this as a reminder that I am not alone or forgotten. It will all work out.

Holly & Co.

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